The Life We Always Wanted
by AliasFan79
Summary: Set during Syd's missing years. Follows the shows timeline until Syd gets out and goes to see Vaughn. Things go differently. SV
1. Revelations

The Life We Always Wanted

Set during Syd's missing years. This fic follows the show's timeline up until Syd goes to see Kendall after escaping from the Covenant. She goes to see Vaughn, and things go differently… (so, no waking up in Hong Kong finding Vaughn married, just to clarify)

Disclaimer: I don't own Alias or any of the characters.

Chapter One- Revelations

Syd's Point of View

I had to see him. That's why I came to L.A. It was only luck that I found him here. I was driving to his apartment when I saw his car parked along the side of a busy street, in front of an apartment complex. As I pulled over, I saw him get out of the car. Then, he opened the passenger door and a blonde woman got out. Something about her looked vaguely familiar, but I couldn't place why I would have seen her before. Then, he pulled her into his arms and kissed her. My heart sank. He moved on. He started to get back into the car, but she grabbed his arm. Then the two of them disappeared into the building – to what I could only assume is her apartment.

I knew he thought I died, but it hurt – watching him with her, knowing that he moved on so quickly. Nine months! I'd only been "dead" for nine months! And even through my tears, I had a nagging thought I couldn't get rid of- why does that woman look so familiar?

-------

I thought about going to Kendall with the information I'd uncovered, but I had to tell Vaughn first. He deserved to know. After seeing Vaughn with that woman, I went back to my hotel and hacked into the Covenant's network to see what I could find out about her. After a couple hours of searching, I found her profile: Lauren Reed, Covenant officer working undercover at the NSC. Her current assignment is to form a relationship with Michael Vaughn, convince him to go back to work at the CIA, and use him to steal CIA secrets.

That's how I found myself sitting in Vaughn's apartment, waiting for him. Lauren left on a Covenant mission that morning, so I wasn't worried she would show up. I heard the key in the lock and stood up, waiting for Vaughn to come in.

"Syd" he slurred, obviously drunk "I didn't expect you so soon – it usually takes a few more drinks." He held up a bottle of whiskey "but I'm glad you're here – I was afraid you wouldn't come anymore – not after yesterday."

I was completely speechless. Vaughn was so drunk he thought I was a hallucination, and it sounded like a common occurrence.

"I had sex with her Syd," he continued "I didn't want to, but I'm trying to move on. I know you hate how much I drink."

I still couldn't open my mouth; I was too stunned to speak.

"I didn't want it to be her Syd" he sobbed "I imagined it was you I was holding and kissing. Syd, I can't do this, I can't move on…I can barely get through a day without you." He opened his bottle and took a long swig of whiskey.

"Vaughn, it's OK" I was oddly relieved at his guilt. He obviously wasn't over me, and that made me feel so much better. "I know you still love me, and you always will. Now put the bottle down." Amazingly, he actually listened to me and set the bottle on the counter. "Now come on, you need some sleep."

I took his hand, led him to the bedroom, and helped him into bed. I took off his shoes and pulled his blanket around him. Then - even though I knew it was probably a bad idea – I lay down next to him.

"Syd" he muttered, pulling me to him "don't ever leave me"

"I won't Vaughn, I love you." I replied as we both drifted off to sleep.

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"Syd" I looked up when he said my name "you're still here – you're never here in the morning."

"How are you feeling this morning?" I replied, sitting up.

"Other than a killer headache, I'm wonderful – you're here. Usually I have to be drunk for you to be here."

"Vaughn – it's not your imagination, I'm really here."

"Yeah, sure Syd."

"Vaughn! Look at me" He sat up, at least partially complying with my request "Touch me" I grabbed his hand "I'm here. I'm NOT dead."

"But I scattered your ashes."

"It wasn't my ashes – I was kidnapped by the Covenant; they faked my death."

"Or else you're just saying that to get me to trust you."

"Ask me something – ask me anything. Something that will prove it to you. Something that will make you believe me." I pleaded with him. I hadn't expected it to be this hard to convince him.

"When you went to go save Will, when he was kidnapped by Khasinau, I came and found you. Where were you?"

"The train station. But you checked the observatory and the pier and the bluffs and the palisades before you came there – you remembered all the places I liked to go. You remembered how I liked to watch the normal people going to their normal jobs"

"Oh my gosh, it's really you!" He pulled me to him and kissed me with the need only someone who's lost the love of their life can know.

"You were here, when I stumbled home last night, weren't you?" He asked once we finally broke apart.

"Yes."

He held me close "Syd. I'm so sorry – for everything"

"It's OK." I stayed in his arms a moment longer then stood up "you should take a shower and get some aspirin. I'll make some coffee. We have a lot to talk about."

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Vaughn's POV

My brain felt a little less foggy after I showered, but I could still hardly believe that Syd was really alive – that she was here, in my apartment, drinking coffee. I stood in the doorway for a moment, just staring at her, afraid that if I moved she would disappear. She must have felt my eyes on her, because she looked up.

"I made coffee – it should help your hangover"

Just the mention of the word hangover reminded me of last night – stumbling into my apartment completely wasted, thinking Syd was another hallucination. Then came the guilt and shame. She never should have had to see me like that. I poured myself a cup of the strong black coffee and sat down next to her on the couch.

"Syd, I'm so sorry about last night…that you had to see me like that."

"It's OK Vaughn. I won't say I liked seeing you drunk, because I didn't. But I think I understand. Do you drink like that a lot?"

"I used to. After you died, I couldn't take it. I left the country for a while, I guess I thought it would help me cope. I used to talk to you like you were still around. Literally, out loud. Whole conversations, about nothing. The weather. Should I get a new car. Should I have another drink. Then one day, you started answering. I mean, I could hear you in my head, like you were standing right next to me Syd. Although rationally I knew I was a guy who stayed up nights drinking, talking to his dead girlfriend, still I couldn't stop."

I could see the tears forming in her eyes, and I paused. "After six months of that, I had the sudden realization that you wouldn't want me to live like that. So I cleaned up and tried to get on with my life. Then, well, last night happened." I wasn't really quite sure how to tell her the next part.

"I saw you with her Vaughn. I know what happened."

"Oh Syd – I'm so sorry."

"You were outside her apartment. When I saw you kiss her, it was like someone was twisting a knife into my stomach. Then I saw her grab your arm and you went inside."

The one thing in the world I never wanted to do was hurt Sydney, but that's exactly what I'd done.

"But then last night" she continued " you were apologizing to me. You said that you didn't want to be with her…that you were imagining it was me." I nodded my head slightly, too ashamed of myself to speak. "Vaughn, I know you love me, that you were trying to….to…put your life back together. I'm not mad."

"I felt so guilty Syd, like I had betrayed you. You were all I could think about – and I was sleeping with someone else. After work yesterday, I went straight to the bar – I had to escape the guilt and shame I felt. I had to talk to you. I knew if I drank enough I could make myself believe you were with me."

"You don't have to drink anymore. I'm here with you now."

"I can still hardly believe it. I mean, I scattered your ashes, there was a fire, they had your DNA…"

"It was all a set up. The Covenant kidnapped me and faked my death. They spent the next six months trying to convice me that I was someone else. I guess I should thank my dad…I think it was the Project Christmas training that made me able to resist the brainwashing. I finally decided to play along, to make them think it had worked. I became Julia Thorne, contract killer. As soon as I got a chance, I contacted Kendall. He told me to continue to play along, to feed the CIA information, not to tell anyone else that I was alive." She paused, taking a breath "but I had to see you. Even if it would blow my cover. So I came anyway."

"And you saw me with Lauren."

"I almost called Kendall again, right there, to tell him I would do whatever he wanted. But there was something about that woman… she looked familiar."

"Where would you have seen Lauren before?"

"I didn't know at first, so I did a little searching. I found a picture of her, and some information. Then it hit me – I had seen her at the facility where I was being held by the Covenant. She was observing the test of loyalty they forced me to do. Vaughn, Lauren's Covenant."

I was stunned. Of all the people I could have dated, I had to pick someone evil. "I had no idea"

"Of course you didn't. But there's more. She has two assignments right now; she works undercover at the NSC, and she's supposed to get close to you." I wanted to say something, how could I be Lauren's assignment? That's so strange, I didn't even work at the CIA anymore. But I couldn't open my mouth. Syd continued "They want her to convince you to go back to the CIA so she can steal CIA secrets from you." Still I couldn't say a word. This was too much. "Vaughn, she was playing you. Manipulating your emotions. Taking advantage of your grief."

With that she set a file on the coffee table. "You can look through this if you want – all the info's there."

"I believe you Syd. If there's anyone I trust, it's you."

"I have a meeting with Kendall this afternoon. I want you to come with me, so we can figure out what to do."

"You know I would do anything for you Syd."

I gazed into her beautiful brown eyes, and brought my hand to her face, gently caressing her cheek. "I missed you so much."

"Me too"

With that, I pulled her toward me. Our kiss was passionate, filled with love, longing, need. We had been apart for too long. We touched each other frantically, trying to make up for lost time.

"I love you Vaughn" Sydney said to me between kisses "and I need you. Make love to me."

"I love you Syd" I replied, kissing her again.

Our lovemaking was a reunion; we belonged together. Afterwards, lying there with my arms around the woman I love, it felt like everything was perfect.

4/4


	2. The Hardest Mission Ever

The Life We Always Wanted

Set during Syd's missing years. This fic follows the show's timeline up until Syd goes to see Kendall after escaping from the Covenant. She goes to see Vaughn, and things go differently… (so, no waking up in Hong Kong finding Vaughn married, just to clarify)

Disclaimer: I don't own Alias or any of the characters.

Chapter 2 – The Hardest Mission Ever

Our meeting with Kendall shattered my illusions of perfection.

"Absolutely not – there is no way I can keep dating that woman. I was going to break things off even before I knew Sydney was alive and Lauren was evil. I CAN NOT date her."

"Agent Vaughn, you don't have a choice." Kendall replied in his most authoritative voice "The Covenant is extremely dangerous and must be stopped. You are in a position to influence what information they receive. And you can gather information as well. We can use this to bring them down."

"But I can't do it – I can't be intimate with her."

"You can play her just like she's playing you."

"But-"

"If she suspects anything suspicious it could be dangerous for Agent Bristow. They might realize the brainwashing didn't work and that she contacted you. And I know you wouldn't do anything that would put her life at risk."

He got me there. I could never knowingly endanger Sydney. She had agreed to keep pretending to be Julia Thorne, and work for the Covenant. We weren't going to tell anyone else that Sydney Bristow was still alive, even her father.

"I know, but I wasn't ready to move on – I can't do it."

"Do it for me Vaughn" Syd had been silent during this conversation "we need to end this as soon as possible. So we can have our lives back."

"You know I would do anything for you Syd, but this?"

"I know you love me, but you need to do this. Whatever it takes."

"Okay" I finally gave in

Kendall seemed pleased "Agent Vaughn, you'll tell Ms. Reed that I set up a meeting with you to convince you to come back to the CIA, but you don't know what to do. She'll talk you into it; it will help her feel successful. Agent Bristow, you need to establish your life as Julia. Make it convincing. Agent Vaughn will be your handler, he seems to have some experience with that. Just don't have face to face meetings too often, remember they can be dangerous. Do not contact me or each other without using this secure phone." He handed us each a cell phone. "I'll leave you two to your goodbyes." With that, Kendall walked out of the warehouse, leaving Syd and I alone.

"Remember all the time we spent here?" Of course I remembered, we spent so much time in this warehouse when she was a double agent at SD-6.

"Yeah. It was the one meeting spot we had that I could actually look at you." She smiled "Syd, this is going to be the hardest mission we've ever had."

"I know Vaughn – but when it's over we'll have our lives back."

"I have to pretend to be in love with another woman"

"I have to pretend to be a cold-hearted assassin"

"I have to work with your dad while pretending to be moving on with my life."

"I have to— OK, you've got me there. My dad can be pretty scary." She added with a smile

"I'll have to have sex with her."

"I know. I have a part to play too. I may end up in a situation where I'll have to have sex with someone else too. Most assassins I know don't worry too much about who they'll sleep with. If it will help the mission, we'll have to do it."

I could see the sadness and pain I felt mirrored in her eyes as she spoke. But I could also see hope.

"We've got our phones, we can talk."

"And we'll meet up occasionally, in other cities and countries."

"Good, because I don't know how long I can go without holding you in my arms." With that, I pulled her close to me. We stood there just holding each other for what felt like hours, neither of us wanted to let go. Finally she pulled away.

"I need to go, I have a plane to catch. Remember, it's just another alias, we can do this."

"I love you."

"I love you." We shared one more kiss, then she walked away. I watched her leave, but I knew that it wouldn't be forever.

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Syd's POV, 6 months later

I woke up in bed with him, feeling claustrophobic. His arm around me always gave me the feeling of being trapped, like I couldn't get away. But instead of giving in to the panic and running from the room, I calmly did the same thing I did every time I spent the night with Simon Walker – I got up and went to the bathroom, being careful not to wake him.

I suppose you could say Simon and I are colleagues. He's freelance and will do whatever job is offered if the pay is good. He and his team have worked several Covenant jobs with me. He turned out to be a great source of information about the Covenant, so I had to keep him close to me. Unfortunately, keeping Simon close means sleeping with him.

"Jules babe, where are you?" I him ask, still sounding half-asleep

"Bathroom."

"Come back to bed"

"You know I can't; I have a plane to catch." I replied, coming out of the bathroom fully clothed in Julia's trademark black leather ensemble.

After my first time with Simon, it took every bit of strength I had not to run to the bathroom and be sick. Just two days earlier, Vaughn had reminded me I had to do whatever it took to get information from Simon. And in Simon's case, whatever it took was sex – rough sex. Supposedly that's what Julia liked as well; it fit her persona – a tough girl without close ties to anyone. As soon as I'd left the motel room, I dialed Vaughn's number almost in tears.

_"Vaughn here" _

"_It's so good to hear your voice. Can you talk now?" He must have heard the stress in my voice, because his reply sounded especially concerned_

"_Yeah, I can meet you in an hour." That meant that he couldn't talk now, but he'd call back in an hour._

"_Is she with you?"_

"_No, I'm at the office."_

"_I'll be waiting for your call."_

"_Come alone." Our code word for I love you. Our conversations had to be phrased so if anyone was listening, they would think he was just meeting a contact, not talking to his "dead" girlfriend. _

"_you too." I dissolved into tears as I hung up the phone. I think I cried the entire hour I waited for his call._

_I picked up the phone the second I head it ring._

"_Vaughn."_

"_Syd, is everything OK? You sound awful." _

"_I just…I don't think I can do this"_

"_Simon?" _

"_Yeah, I finally gave in and slept with him. It was awful."_

"_I'm so sorry."_

"_How do you do it Vaughn, have sex with someone you don't love?"_

"_You just have to do it – don't think about it or analyze it – just do it. You have to disconnect."_

"_You make it sound so easy"_

"_It's not. It's a struggle every time. You could try my other tactic."_

"_What's that?"_

"_I pretend she's you."_

"_Does that work?"_

"_Sometimes, as long as she doesn't talk."_

"_I don't think I can pretend that Simon's you – you would never treat me like he does. He's so rough with me."_

"_He's rough with Julia."_

"_Yeah, I guess."_

"_Syd, I have to go. I have to get back to work."_

"_I know. I just needed to hear your voice."_

"_I'll see you soon."_

"_Two weeks. I love you Vaughn."_

"_I love you too Syd."_

"You could always miss your flight." Simon's voice jolted me back to reality. There was no way in hell I was missing this flight – I was meeting Vaughn in Paris.

"Our employers won't be too happy if they don't get their artifact." OK, so I had to make a dead drop in Barcelona first, but I was still going to Paris.

"I could come with you." Not a chance of that happening.

"I'll only be gone a few days."

"Yeah, I know. I just wish you needed me as much as I need you." He pulls me to him, kissing me hard.

"I'll call you when I get back." Quickly, I turned and walked out the door.

-------

I flew from Rome to Barcelona, made the dead drop, and checked into a hotel. Then I quickly changed into a new alias and left. Julia would have to return here to check out in a few days before the flight back to Rome. But for now, I'm free. I smiled – probably my first real smile in weeks – as I headed back toward the airport. The disguise I wore would fool any facial recognition scanners that either the CIA or the Covenant would use.

-------

This was the best place in the world, the only place I ever wanted to be, lying in Vaughn's arms. He was waiting for me when I got to the hotel in Paris. We needed each other so much that we were kissing before we even spoke a word.

Our meetings always started the same way. Maybe it was all the time we spent apart, maybe it was because we were both sleeping with other people, but we couldn't get enough of each other. We touched and kissed each other on every inch of our bodies, as though we were claiming each other as our own. But even more than I needed to touch him, I needed him to touch me, and I think he felt the same way.

After making love came the regret and guilt of our lifestyles. Sometimes there were tears, but we always soothed each other. I'd remind him that Lauren was just a mission, nothing more. He would say the same to me about Simon.

Next came our fantasies – that we could disappear forever, that no one would ever find us. We could be together.

Then, we could sleep. And then we could act normal – discuss our missions and just enjoy each other's company. All too soon, our brief time together would be over, and we'd have to go at least another month before seeing each other. Anything more than that is just too risky.

But for now, I just want to enjoy the feeling of falling asleep in his arms. There's no where I'd rather be.

5/5


	3. We Have a Problem

The Life We Always Wanted

Set during Syd's missing years. This fic follows the show's timeline up until Syd goes to see Kendall after escaping from the Covenant. She goes to see Vaughn, and things go differently… (so, no waking up in Hong Kong finding Vaughn married, just to clarify)

Disclaimer: I don't own Alias or any of the characters.

Chapter 3 – We Have a Problem

8 months later

"Syd, we have a problem" Usually I love hearing Vaughn's voice, but I don't particularly like problems.

"What is it?"

"Are you alone?"

"No."

"Are you with Simon"

"Yeah"

"Is anyone else there?"

"No"

"Well, this is too important to wait. The CIA ID'd Simon"

"What?!?"

"After you two blew up the factory in Madrid they got his face on the security camera of the hotel next door. Thankfully, your face was hidden; they only know he was with a blonde woman. But they got his name, and through one of your dad's contacts they know he associated with a woman named Julia Thorne."

"This is bad. Really bad. How are we going to proceed?"

"Obviously the CIA wants to bring Walker in. But Kendall absolutely does not want him in custody. He could blow our whole operation if he talks."

"So he has to disappear."

"Can you take care of that?"

"Of course"

"You'll also need a new hairstyle."

"I figured."

"Syd – they'll be looking for Julia. I know I don't have to say this, but be extra careful. The people running this op – your dad, Dixon, Marshall, Weiss – know you, so if they see your face it's over.

"I know, I'll be careful. I'll contact you when it's done."

"I love you"

"Me too" I hung up the phone and turned to the man I was sharing the hotel room with. "Simon, we have a problem."

"What's wrong Jules?"

"You know the factory we blew up last week?"

"Madrid?"

"Yeah. You were ID'd by the CIA"

"Shit. How did you find out?"

"I have a contact at the CIA. He just called. We need to make you disappear."

"Martin can forge some documents for me."

"Here," I reached into my suitcase, "dye your hair blonde." I tossed the box of dye at him.

"Blonde?"

"Yeah. Just do it."

"So when do we leave?"

"You. You leave in an hour. Get a flight somewhere remote. Stay there. It's your only chance at freedom."

"When will I see you again?"

"Simon, we can't see each other anymore. Ever." I tried to be gentle, but this was harsh information for him.

"Can't you come with me?"

"No. It's too dangerous. I haven't been visually ID'd but they know my name. I can't be seen with you." And now I don't have to pretend to want to have sex with you anymore.

"You could disappear with me" He really wasn't getting the point.

"No, I can't. There's too much I have to do right now." I walked over and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Goodbye Simon. You'll be gone when I get back. Good luck"

"Goodbye Julia" Am I seeing things? Is that actually a tear in his eye?

I turned and walked out of the motel room, leaving him for the last time. Mostly, I was relieved I didn't have to pretend anymore, but a small part of me would miss the companionship. I definitely didn't love him, or even like him all that much, but it was nice having someone around. Now I was on my own.

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Vaughn's POV

I had entered the briefing room just like every other day. When Jack started talking about the factory in Madrid I got a little nervous; I knew Syd was involved in that. Then Jack put the picture on the monitor. I had a sinking feeling in my stomach – this was not good.

"This is Simon Walker" Jack told us. "He's freelance, but is known to have ties to the Covenant. We believe he did this job for them."

"Who's the woman with him?" Dixon asked

"Unfortunately, this is the best picture we have of her". All the picture showed was a woman with shoulder length blonde hair – her face was hidden. "But my contacts tell me Walker's been associated with a Covenant operative named Julia Thorne. We can only assume that she is the woman in the photo."

This was definitely NOT good. At least they didn't have Syd's face – that could ruin our whole operation, maybe even put Syd's life in danger if the Covenant found out. The rest of the meeting was a blur. Jack was talking about ways to find Walker; there would be another briefing later in the day.

"Agent Vaughn, do you have a minute" Kendall's voice brought me out of my daze.

"Yes sir" I replied, as everyone else filed out of the room and Kendall closed the door.

"You know as well as I do that Walker can't be brought in. If he talks-"

"I'll take care of it"

"You can use this room for a few minutes if you need the privacy." As Kendall left the room, I dialed Syd's secure number.

"Syd, we have a problem."

A part of me was glad Walker would have to disapper – he wouldn't be sleeping with my girlfriend anymore – but I knew if would make Syd's life more difficult without someone around.

-------

3 days later

"Simon Walker has disappeared" Jack Bristow opened the briefing with what most people there thought was a somber note. I had to hold in a smile. "And there's been no sign of Ms. Thorne either."

I hoped Jack couldn't see the relief on my face.

"They couldn't both have dropped off the face of the earth." Weiss interjected

Kendall stood up "I want them found. They're the only lead we have on the Covenant right now. They were last seen in Madrid; start there. Dismissed"

I took a minute gathering my papers. I could tell Kendall wanted to talk to me.

"Agent Vaughn, we need a trail on her. Jack Bristow won't rest until he finds her. We need the red herring." He left unspoken the fact that we also don't want Jack to find out they were tipped off. The last thing we need right now is an internal mole hunt.

"I'm on it."

-------

1 month later

"Yesterday it was Bangkok. Today it's New Delhi. Where's she going to be tomorrow, Beijing? Tokyo? Hong Kong?" Weiss sounded frusterated.

"Ms. Thorne does seem to get around a lot." Dixon added

These briefings – and the whole search for Julia Thorne – were a complete waste of time. The "evidence" they were examining had all been planted, some by me, some by Syd, and some by Kendall. And here we were, reviewing it as if it actually meant something. Syd spent most of her time in a long black wig; she only let her dyed blonde hair show for the fake pictures and meetings with her Covenant contacts.

I shot Kendall a look, and I know he was thinking the same thing I was – how much longer can this go on before they realize something's going on.

-------

2 months later

"Syd?" I said, pulling the door closed behind me. She NEVER gets to the hotel before I do. NEVER. She's sitting on the edge of the bed, and judging by her face I'd say she's been crying.

"I can't do this anymore Vaughn." She sobs. I sit next to her, holding her in my arms, trying to offer some comfort.

When she called yesterday I was a little surprised.

_"I need to see you" She said as soon as I answered the phone_

"_You know I'd love to see you too, but Syd, we just got together a couple of weeks ago."_

"_I need to see you" she repeated_

"_You know it's too dangerous to see each other so often." I tried reasoning with her "It could blow our cover."_

"_I need to see you Vaughn, I need to see you" _

_And as usual where Sydney Bristow is concerned, I caved. "Tomorrow, Cairo?"_

"_OK"_

"I can't do this anymore" She said again, calmer this time.

"What can't you do?"

"This life – the double life."

"Syd, you've said that before, and you always made it."

"It's different this time. It's not me I'm worried about."

"I'll be fine too; you don't have to worry about me."

"It's not you either. It's…. it's….." she trailed off, having difficulty. I rubbed her back gently, waiting for her to continue. "Vaughn, I'm pregnant."

"Oh my gosh Syd" I said excitedly. Then I remember something "is it-"

"Yes, it's yours. Thank God. I don't know what I'd do if I had to have his baby."

"Syd, this is amazing. We're going to have a baby!" I pulled her into a close hug, but I notice she's still upset. "Aren't you even a little excited?"

"Vaughn, I love you. And I love this baby already. I want nothing more than to have your child. But if the Covenant finds out…"

"They'll take our baby."

"I can't let that happen."

"I know."

"I'll have to disappear. Then all this will have been for nothing."

"Then we'll have to make something happen. How long do we have?"

"2, maybe 3 months before I start to show."

"Then we need a plan."

She put her hand on my face and said "I love you". Then she kissed me passionately.

"I thought we were making a plan" I said moments later, trying to catch my breath.

"In a minute" she replied, pulling me down on the bed.

5/5


	4. Getting Out

The Life We Always Wanted

Set during Syd's missing years. This fic follows the show's timeline up until Syd goes to see Kendall after escaping from the Covenant. She goes to see Vaughn, and things go differently… (so, no waking up in Hong Kong finding Vaughn married, just to clarify)

Disclaimer: I don't own Alias or any of the characters.

Chapter 4 – Getting Out

3 days later

Sydney and I came up with a brilliant plan, if I do say so myself. Even Kendall thought so. But, this plan needs more than the three of us – that's why we were in the briefing room with Jack Bristow, Marcus Dixon, Eric Weiss, and Marshall Flinkman. There was a lot they needed to be briefed on.

"We have a plan to take down several key players in the Covenant simultaneously." Kendall said, opening the meeting. "We leak some intel that we're moving one of our valuable Rambaldi artifacts. Upon analyzing it, we found it could reveal Rambaldi's endgame, but it can only be opened with the blood of the chosen one."

"But the chosen one is dead?" Eric questioned

"Which is why we'd be moving the artifact back to storage." Kendall said, slightly annoyed. "The Covenant wants any Rambaldi artifacts they can get their hands on; they will want to examine this themselves. When they open the artifact, it will release a gas, knocking them all unconscious."

"Then we go in and take them into custody." Dixon interjected.

"Exactly. But this is also an extraction. We've had an agent undercover with the Covenant for a while, and we need to get her out."

"Who is it?" Marshall asked

Kendall gestured to me. "Gentlemen, the ever elusive Julia Thorne" I said. Then I clicked a button on the remote, and the screens in the room showed a woman with short blonde hair. This time, her face was clearly visible. Jack, Dixon, Weiss and Marshall all gasped.

"Is it….?" Dixon questioned

"No it can't be – she's dead" Weiss seemed confused

"It's her." Jack spoke for the first time "I can tell." The look on Jack's face was a mixture of joy, relief, and anger. The anger appeared to be directed toward Kendall.

"That explains why we couldn't ever ID Julia Thorne" Marshall noted.

"Agent Bristow was kidnapped by the Covenant. They faked her death and attempted to brainwash her into believing she was someone else, an assassin named Julia Thorne. We believe it was the Project Christmas training she had as a child that enabled her to resist the brainwashing. Finally she decided to pretend the brainwashing had worked and began her life as Julia Thorne. She contacted me when she completed her first mission for the Covenant. Agent Vaughn and I have been working with her ever since."

"You knew about this?" Jack said angrily, staring me down.

"Yes sir. We've been working together for a little over a year. Sydney came to see me, even though Kendall told her not to." Jack still appeared angry at me after my explanation; Jack Bristow is NOT someone you want mad at you.

"So Vaughn, if you knew the woman you're crazy in love with is alive, why are you dating Lauren?" Weiss asked, in a slightly misguided attempt to lighten the mood.

"Lauren isn't – well, she's…." I didn't quite know how to say it.

"Lauren is Covenant." Kendall finished for me.

"Her mission was to get close to me." I added, "So my mission was to feed her incorrect information. She is how we'll be leaking the intel for this mission to the Covenant."

"So we need a really good fake artifact that can only be opened with Sydney's blood?" Marshall questioned.

"Yes. And the gas inside it needs to be formulated so it will knock out everyone but her." Kendall added.

"I can do that, but it will take some time." Marshall said. "And I'll need some of her blood." I pulled a small vial out of my pocket and handed it to Marshall.

"Dismissed." Kendall said "we'll meet again in 24 hours. Tell no one about this."

"Marshall" I said as everyone else left. He turned around and looked at me. "I didn't want to mention this in front of everyone – but Sydney's pregnant. The gas needs to be done so it won't hurt the baby."

"Of course. When's the baby due? You know, Carrie is having a boy in just two months. If Sydney's baby is a girl, maybe they'll date when they're older. Then we'd be like family if they got married." Marshall stopped, realizing what he just said

"Yes Marshall, it's my baby. Sydney and I are going to be parents."

"Congratulations. This is such an exciting day. First we have a new mission, then we learn Agent Bristow is alive, and now the baby. Can it get any better?

"Yes. We could get her out of there."

"Okay, I'm on it."

We walked out of the briefing room to find Jack Bristow standing there, and angry scowl on his face. "Agent Vaughn – a word" he said, heading back into the briefing room. Of course I followed, though facing an angry Jack Bristow was not something I was particularly eager to do.

"I assume you're the one that's been meeting with my daughter."

"Yes sir." I said, trying very hard not to sound intimidated.

"Why was I not informed of this earlier. No one felt it necessary to tell me my daughter was alive!" Jack sounded really mad now. "I would have expected that courtesy from you."

"Kendall insisted no one else was allowed to know. As I mentioned in the meeting, he didn't want me involved either, but Sydney came to see me anyway."

"She can be rather stubborn at times." He replied grudgingly

"She wanted to see you too Jack. She asked about you all the time. It tore her up that you thought she was dead. But we all knew that for this to work it had to be as secret as possible."

"I know." He paused, then asked "how is she?"

"Good. But she wants her life back."

"She always hated the double life." Thankfully, Jack didn't sound angry anymore. It was almost like he actually understood.

"And this is so much worse for her than it was at SD-6. Jack – I don't know if I should tell you this…Sydney will probably want to kill me…but I don't want you to hear it from anyone else." I paused, gathering the strength to say these next words. "Jack, Sydney's pregnant."

There was a long pause while he processed this information "I assume you're the father." Great, now he looks like he wants to kill me.

"Yes. And I would appreciate if for her sake, you could accept our relationship. I love your daughter Jack, more than anything in the world. I can't imagine spending the rest of my life without her."

"What are you implying Agent Vaughn?" He asked sternly

"That when this is all over, I'm going to ask Sydney to marry me."

-------

2 weeks later

"Vaughn here" I said, answering my cell phone.

"Agent Vaughn, I just wanted to inform you of the analysis of the latest Rambaldi artifact we recovered." Kendall's voice said through the phone.

"You mean the box we recovered from Istanbul?" We had "retrieved" this box from a private collector last week.

"Yes. Unfortunately, we were unable to open it. The markings on the box indicate it can only be opened with the blood of the chosen one."

"Well, I guess that's one artifact we won't be able to open." I said, trying to sound a little upset. "It's hard to get the chosen one's blood when she's dead."

"Ms. Bristow may not have been the chosen one. But we're transferring the box to the DSR facility in Nevada tomorrow afternoon. I thought you would appreciate being informed since it involves Agent Bristow."

"Thank you sir. I appreciate your consideration." I said, and hung up the phone.

"Well Agent Vaughn," Kendall said, walking to my desk. "Do you think she took the bait?"

"We should know in a few minutes sir." Kendall, Marshall, Jack and I were looking at my computer screen, waiting for the moment it would indicate Lauren Reid was making a call. A mere 30 seconds later the message "outgoing call" flashed on the screen. Marshall punched a few keys and Lauren's voice came through my speaker phone.

"We have an opportunity."

------------------------------

Sydney's POV – 3 days later

_This is it_ I thought, as entered the room, _the beginning of the end_. The call requesting my presence at this meeting had come from one of the leaders of the Covenant late last night. Of course, I immediately called Vaughn. He and a few other agents flew to Warsaw to assist with my extraction and the capture of the Covenant leaders.

"Ms. Thorne, glad you could make it on such short notice." I recognized the man speaking from my loyalty test last year. There were four more men and two women seated around a table.

"Your offer intrigued me." I replied "What's this job that only I can do?"

"We need you to open this box" one of the women told me. Of course, I knew that already.

"A box? Anyone can open a box. Generally the jobs I undertake are riskier, and usually involve assassination."

"This is a special box" the man told me, setting it on the table.

Wow, Marshall really outdid himself on this one. If I didn't know better, I would have sworn it was an actual Rambaldi artifact. It was about 8" long, 5" wide, and 3" high. On the top was, of course, the Rambaldi symbol, o It was surrounded by intricately carved text.

"There's no lid, what exactly do you expect me to do?" I asked

The woman pressed the outer parts of the symbol ( ) and a needle came up from the center of the circle. I reached out my hand and put my left index finger on the tip of the needle. A few drops of my blood went into a small hole at the needle's base and then the needle retracted. All the Covenant leaders stared expectantly at the box. I pretended to look skeptical.

"Was that supposed to open the box? I asked, trying to sound incredulous.

"Give it time" the man replied.

After exactly one minute and 47 seconds (gotta love the details Marshall adds) the circle sank down and a cloud of gas came out of the box. As the people around me collapsed to the floor so did I. When they were all down I got up, walked over to the box, and removed my comm link. There was a jamming device in the box as well, so I knew the transmission wouldn't be picked up by anyone else.

"Mountaineer to base camp"

"Go ahead Mountaineer. It's good to hear your voice." My dad said through the comm channel.

"You too. There's seven Covenant operatives here. Two seem fairly high ranking, but I don't know about the others. They're all knocked out. That gas Marshall put in the box worked perfectly."

"Alright Mountaineer, we're sending in the team now. See you soon."

I shut off the comm. link and lay on the floor, pretending to have passed out like everyone else. There were a couple of people on the SWAT team that didn't know I was part of this mission, so I had to act the part the whole time. A minute later I heard shots outside the door. The SWAT team took out the guards. Then they were in the room, picking up the Covenant operatives. I feel a pair of strong arms picking me up; without even opening my eyes I knew it was Vaughn.

"It's almost over" he whispered, and carried me out of the room.

6/6


	5. Real Life

The Life We Always Wanted

Set during Syd's missing years. This fic follows the show's timeline up until Syd goes to see Kendall after escaping from the Covenant. She goes to see Vaughn, and things go differently… (so, no waking up in Hong Kong finding Vaughn married, just to clarify)

Disclaimer: I don't own Alias or any of the characters.

Chapter 5 – Real Life

An hour into the plane ride, the effects of the gas started to wear off and some of the Covenant operatives were waking up. Time to give the most convincing performance of my life. In order for me to have my life back, without the Covenant trying to kill me for knowing too much, I had to pretend not to remember anything about the past two years.

"Where am I?" I sat up, looking confused.

There were seven other people chained to benches in this holding cell, as well as two guards I hadn't seen before.

"You're on a plane headed to America. In the custody of the US government." One of the guards told me.

"There must be some mistake – I work for the government. My name is Sydney Bristow, I'm a CIA agent."

"Get Agent Bristow in here now" one of the guards told the other "he wanted to be notified the minute she woke up."

The guard left, and returned almost immediately with my father.

"Dad, what's going on? Why am I chained up?"

"Sydney… you're OK. I'm so glad you're back."

"Back? Where have I been? Dad, tell me what's going on!"

"What's the last thing you remember?"

"I…I was fighting with Francie in our apartment. Dad – she's the second double."

"I know sweetheart. Since that night – it's been more than two years."

"What!?!?"

"You were kidnapped by the Covenant. They faked your death and brainwashed you. You've been working for them ever since." He paused "We thought you were dead. When we found out you were alive, we set up an operation to get you out. Apparently, the gas that knocked you out somehow reversed your brainwashing."

"Where's Vaughn? How's Will? What happened to the double?"

"Vaughn's in the other room; he rescued you. Will's fine, no permanent damage. And Francie's double is dead. You shot her when you fought." Then my dad turned to one of the guards "Agent Roberts, please release my daughter."

The guard came into the cell, undid my chains, and let me out. I immediately ran to my father and gave him a hug.

"I missed you Sydney" he said

"I missed you too daddy" I whispered.

Then we walked into the comfortable area of the plane.

"Jones, Rodriguez, Rowinski" The three agents looked up when they heard Jack Bristow calling them "I need you in the back, the prisoners are waking up." They immediately walked out, leaving only Vaughn, Dixon, Weiss, and Marshall in the room with us.

"They all know" Vaughn said to me, and I immediately relaxed. I don't think I've ever been so happy to be on a CIA plane. I looked at their smiling faces: Dixon, my partner at SD-6, who finally came to work for the CIA; Marshall, the op-tech guy who made my extraction box, along with many other gadgets; Weiss, a fellow agent and friend; my father, who would do anything for me; and Vaughn, the love of my life and father of my child. What amazing people I have in my life!

"It's so good to see all of you" I said "thanks for getting me out." I hugged each of them, remembering that until a couple weeks ago, most of them thought I was dead. When I came to Vaughn, of course I kissed him.

"And here we thought Mike was moving on" Weiss said with a smile.

"He's that good of an actor, huh?" I questioned

"Well, it helped that we thought you were dead." Weiss replied

We spent the rest of the plane ride catching up, and just enjoying each other's company. I sat next to Vaughn; I think his arm was around my shoulder the entire flight. It felt amazing to be myself again. To have real friends and not worry about my double life. Yes, I knew I still had to debrief with Kendall when we got back, and I have to pretend I don't remember the hardest two years of my life. But at least my closest friends know the truth. And somehow, we'd leak to the Covenant that I didn't remember anything about Julia so they wouldn't have to "eliminate" me as a security risk. I could finally have my life back.

-------

Relief washed over me as we walked into Vaughn's apartment the next evening. We never really discussed it, but we both assumed I'd stay at his place, at least until we worked out something more permanent.

They had kept me at JTF for hours. First, it was debrief. Then, they had to run every test imaginable on me, just to prove I was really me. Vaughn was there waiting for me when I finished. Aside from a quick trip to drop off his stuff at his apartment, he had been there the whole time. Isn't that sweet? Somewhere in the time I was at JTF, Lauren had learned of my reappearance and memory loss. After she reported that to her superior, the CIA brought her in on charges of treason. So she was out of the picture for good.

"It feels so good to be here" I told Vaughn "and not in some hotel room in a foreign country."

"Now that you're here, I don't think I'll ever let you go."

"mmmmmm… I like that sound of that" I said, wrapping my arms around his neck. We sat on the couch – there was no need to hurry tonight, we wouldn't be separated in a few days.

"So what do you want to do with your first free evening in almost two years?" Vaughn asked me.

"Spend it with you – here. Even though I was hardly ever at your apartment when we were first dating, this feels like home. And I haven't spent a quiet evening at home in years."

"I like the sound of that" he said with a smile

"Though I do have some plans for tomorrow"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I want to see my ob/gyn about the baby. I haven't seen a doctor yet… Do you want to come?"

"Of course"

"And I told my dad I'd have lunch with him. After all, I haven't seen him in a couple years."

"Excellent idea. I know he missed you a lot."

"And since I finally get to be Sydney Bristow again, I want to go to the salon and get my hair back to it's real color."

"Definitely"

"What, you don't like blonds?"

"I love you – no matter what color your hair is."

"Well, maybe I should make it purple and spikey." I smiled "you did ask me out on our first date while I was wearing that crazy wig."

"Men in love will do stupid things – like date the girl with the crazy hair. But Syd, I just want you to be you – and to be happy." With that, he leaned over and kissed me tenderly. "Just don't make any plans for dinner. I want to cook for you."

"Like a date?"

"Yeah, we haven't had one of those in a while. In fact, I think you need to stay out all afternoon. Here," he got his wallet out of his pocket "take my credit card and buy yourself a stunningly beautiful outfit."

"Now that sounds like fun." I said, taking the card from his hand. After a moment I added "do you think it would be weird if I went shopping with Will? I would have gone with Francie… and I haven't seen Will in two years" I learned from people at the agency that Will was still working as an analyst for the CIA.

"He probably doesn't even know you're alive. I'm his contact, and I haven't said anything."

"Really! This will be fun. Can you set up a meet? I'll surprise him and then haul him shopping. The fact that I'm alive should be enough to make him not hate the shopping part. You don't think his new girlfriend will mind, do you?"

"She won't mind. She seems pretty understanding. Besides, it's not like you're trying to steal her boyfriend."

"No, I've already got one of those." I said, pulling Vaughn in for a kiss. "I love you"

"I love you too."

-------

The next day

"So, Vaughn and I went to see the doctor this morning."

"How's the baby?"

"Just fine. No ill effects from that gas."

"Marshall will be glad to know that."

Why are conversations with my dad always slightly awkward? I haven't seen him in almost two years, but all we can discuss is work. Here we are eating lunch at our favorite deli, trying to get reacquainted.

"How far along are you?"

"Almost seven weeks. As long as I get plenty of rest I can continue working, at least for now."

"Have you thought about what you'll do after they baby's born?"

"I can't keep going on ops all the time. I don't want to be-" I stop myself. Oops

"the kind of parent I was when you were young." He finished

"I didn't mean it like that. I just want to be around my child. I might go out in the field occasionally, to keep my skills sharp. But I was thinking of working with the new recruits. I know a lot of tricks that someone might find helpful."

"I think you'd be good at that."

"I have to discuss it with Vaughn first though."

Silence. Come on dad, I'm having his baby!

"Dad, he's the one who kept me sane this past year. I don't know if I could have done it without him. I love him so much. And I'm so excited to be having a baby with him. I wish you could accept that."

"It's a hard thing to accept. When he started seeing Ms. Reed, I hated him. He said he loved you, but he was moving on so quickly. It's hard to change those feelings. But I can tell he loves you, so I'm trying." He paused "I'm glad you're finally happy Sydney."

-------

I made sure to wait until Will was at the meeting place before coming out. At least my hair was brown again and with the extensions my hairstylist gave me, I actually look like myself. We were meeting in the warehouse, the one Vaughn and I used to meet at. Apparently, they set this as their standard spot because it made them feel closer to me.

"Hi Will." I said, stepping out of the shadows.

"Syd?" He looked confused

"Yeah, it's me."

"No, it can't be – you're dead." He pulled out a gun. Seriously, they gave Will a gun? "I know about project Helix – I know who you are." He held the gun steadily, aimed towards me.

"Will, listen to me" maybe this whole surprise thing was a bad idea. "I was kidnapped two years ago – they faked my death, planted the DNA." He looks hesitant "When we thought you were a double, you told me to ask you something only Will would know. Ask me something, ask me something obscure.

"When I had my job interview for the newspaper, something happened to me that day. I told you about it. What was it?" The edge to his voice scared me, plus he still had the gun pointed at me.

"Someone bumped into you on the elevator. They spilled coffee on your knew white shirt. You were freaked but Lytvak said it made you look like a working reporter. She gave you the job." He let down his guard for a second, and I used to opportunity to get the gun.

"You know that if I wanted to hurt you I could. You're my best friend, my oldest friend. I love you"

"Then why are you aiming the gun at me?" I dropped the gun "Oh my gosh" Before I knew it, we were hugging. "You're alive"

I pulled away from him "I spent the past year and a half working undercover with the Covenant, but everyone thinks I don't remember it. The only people who knew I was alive were Kendall and Vaughn."

"The whole time, he knew?"

"Not the first nine months. But we've been working together since then."

"Just working?" Will knows me so well.

"No, not exactly. Actually, we're having a baby."

"Wow, Syd, that's amazing! You look really happy."

"Yeah, I am. Actually, Vaughn's making me dinner tonight. He told me to go buy a dress. Will you come shopping with me?"

"Shopping, you want me to go shopping?"

"Yeah. I know it's a girl thing, but I don't exactly have any girls to go with right now."

"Sure, I'll come. Then you can come get ready at my place. I want to you meet my girlfriend Abby. Then maybe you'll want to go shopping with her the next time"

"Tell me all about her" I said as we walked out of the warehouse together.

-------

"So, how was your first day back in real life?" Vaughn asked me as we sat down on the couch with our coffee.

"Amazing." I smiled "starting from the moment I woke up in your bed with you next to me. And we got to hear our baby's heartbeat."

"That was amazing. How was lunch with your dad?"

"It was pretty good. A little awkward at times, but I guess that's normal. And you know, I think he might actually be okay with our relationship."

"Really?!"

"Yeah, he said he could tell how happy I am. And I think he knows that you're a huge part of that."

"I'm glad he's okay with it, I know how important that is to you." I leaned over and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "And obviously, the salon and shopping trip were successful. Have I told you how beautiful you are?"

"Yeah, maybe once or twice."

"How did the surprise with Will go?"

"He pulled a gun on me."

"No!"

"Yeah, he thought I was another double."

"I guess I can see how he would think that. Even the CIA tested you"

"But it was really good to see him again. And Abby is really nice. At least, after Will explained why he was bringing some strange woman back to their apartment. She even helped me get ready for our date. We should have dinner with them sometime…"

"Sure, that sounds nice."

"But you know what the best part of my day was?"

"What?"

"Coming home to you – and this wonderful dinner." I smiled, remembering what happened just an hour before

_I rang the doorbell as if it was just any old date. Vaughn had opened the door, a bouquet of roses in hand, then stood there speechless. _

"_What, don't I get to come in?" I asked, grinning. The dress obviously had the intended effect. _

"_Of course. Sydney, you look beautiful. Stunning. Sexy. Gorgeous… Here these are for you." He said, handing me the roses. Then we shared the most amazing kiss. _

"I have a present for you"

"Vaughn, you didn't don't need to give me anything." I said, as he pulled a rectangular box out of the drawer in the coffee table.

"Actually, it's yours – I'm just returning it." Inside the box was the picture frame he had given me for Christmas after we had first met. I must have looked stunned because he added "it's the only thing that survived both the fire and the fight. I know the picture is a little singed, but I couldn't replace it" Inside the frame was a picture of us, taken right after we started dating.

"Thank you Vaughn – this is the best present ever!"

"Syd, that frame survived the fire, just like we've survived so many obstacles. I don't know what the future holds, but I know I want to spend it with you." He paused, reached into the pocket of his jacket, and pulled out a small black box. He opened it, revealing a sparkling princess cut diamond ring.

"Oh my God, Vaughn" I gasped

"I love you so much. Sydney Anne Bristow, will you marry me?"

Without even a moments hesitation I replied "YES!" and gave him a short kiss. Then I added, a little quieter, "Yeah, I want to marry you. I love you Vaughn" With that, he put the ring on my finger and pulled me in for a long, deep kiss.

6/6


	6. Epilogue

The Life We Always Wanted

Set during Syd's missing years. This fic follows the show's timeline up until Syd goes to see Kendall after escaping from the Covenant. She goes to see Vaughn, and things go differently… (so, no waking up in Hong Kong finding Vaughn married, just to clarify)

Disclaimer: I don't own Alias or any of the characters.

Epilogue – 10 years later

I know I should be down there with everyone else instead of standing up on the deck by myself, it is my party after all, but I love watching the people I care about having so much fun. I turned 40 today, I think I'm allowed a little time to be reflective.

My wonderful husband threw me a surprise party. Abby, Carrie, Megan, and I spent the morning getting pampered at the spa. When we came home for lunch, I couldn't have been more surprised when everyone jumped out and yelled "Happy Birthday!"

Now, the kids are all running around the back yard. It looks like they're playing some kind of tag. The adults are all seated around the picnic table talking and laughing.

Isabelle, our 9 year old, is running, her long hair flying behind her.

"Gotcha Izzy!" her little brother laughed "you're it." Bill is 6; he's named after Vaughn's father.

Will and Abby are here with their three kids. Abby and I became best friends almost immediately. I think they got married a year or so after Vaughn and I. Their 8 year old daughter Amy and Izzy are practically inseparable.

And Marshall and Carrie are here too – with all five kids. Five kids! I don't think I could handle that many, I have my hands full with my two. Mitchell is a few months older than Izzy. We're taking bets on how old they'll be when they start dating. Hopefully not for a while yet, I don't want them to grow up too quickly. And Bill loves playing with the twins. They're all in the same class at school, but they do cause a bit of trouble when they're all together.

Eric Weiss finally found the perfect girl for him. He and Megan were married a couple of years ago. How she puts up with his sense of humor all the time I'll never know. Their six-month old daughter holds the distinction of being the youngest one here.

Even Dixon made it to the party, with his two kids. And Robin even brought her boyfriend – they're both finishing up their freshman year at UCLA in a couple weeks. And can you believe that Dixon's now the deputy director of the CIA! He just moved to DC a few months ago.

And of course, my dad's here too. He's still the gruff Jack Bristow we all love – except with Izzy and Bill. He spoils them rotten! I guess that's what grandparents are for.

"Hey beautiful" Vaughn says, putting his arms around my waist "everyone's wondering where the birthday girl went"

"I'm just thinking"

"About?"

"How blessed I am. Look at how much fun everyone's having – how happy they are."

"Yeah, our lives did turn out pretty good, didn't they?"

"Can you believe we've been married almost 10 years?" We got married about a month after Vaughn proposed – on October 1st, 4 years to the day after we met.

"I know – and if it's possible, I love you more than ever."

"Me too. Thanks for today – I can't imagine a better birthday."

"Well," he adds, a little suggestively, "it's not over yet"

"Michael Vaughn!" I exclaim, then lean over to kiss him. "I love you"

"I love you too, Sydney Vaughn – now come on, let's go join the party"

Hand in hand, we walk down the steps of the deck to join our family and friends. This really is the life we've always wanted.

2/2


End file.
